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Finding Your Own Inner Mentor

What if you had a voice of perfect wisdom inside of you? A voice that could drive the waves of self doubt away, help you make tough decisions and offer you the courage to face whatever adversity may come your way. Inner guidance, you could turn to, no matter what time of day, no matter where you were and no matter what the circumstances were. Imagine an inner mentor, who totally had your back.

Recently, one of the participants in my Mission North Star coaching program, shared with me her desire to get reacquainted with herself and connect with that voice in her head, she once trusted and who she knew had no agenda other than to see her succeed. As her coach, I relished in her readiness to stay curious and her desire to push forward and find her inner mentor. Through her work in the MNS program, my client was ready to use her tools and learn to trust herself again, and be true to the woman who she knew herself to be, without fear of judgment or criticism.

As Tara Mohr, author of Playing Big, puts it “Your inner mentor is a North Star that can serve as your compass. She’s not a destination at which you ever fully arrive.”

I began thinking about ways to rediscover my own inner mentor, and tap into that wealth of knowledge and sage wisdom that we all have within us. I realized that along the way, some of my life experiences both, professionally and personally, had left me feeling uncertain, drained and questioning my own judgement. And as a result, over time, I pushed my inner mentor somewhere deep down inside of me and allowed my inner critic to own a larger space in my head.

Having a sense of an older, wiser and more authentic version of myself, cleared the way for me to recognize my own inner mentor still existed as a voice within me right now. All I needed to do was practice getting quiet, go deep and get comfortable trusting myself again. I’m grateful for the reassurance I received in that experience, and want to share with you five ways to develop your own inner mentor. If you’re patient with yourself and trust the process, you’ll learn how to find your inner mentor, access her regularly and find the answers that are right for you at every turn.

Here are five ways to grow into your inner mentor:

1-    Journal about your inner mentor. What is she like? What are her daily habits? What do you admire the most about her? What are her thoughts on resiliency?
2-    Visualize yourself meeting her and spending time together in a quiet place. What do you want to share with her about your life? What questions do you want to ask her? What fears do you want to get out on the table?
3-    Listen to her messages and trust her encouraging words.
4-    Take your time with this practice and embrace having an inner mentor. Cultivate this practice and trust in yourself. Know that your inner mentor exists for you, and there are absolutely no competing elements.
5-    Know that the same way, your inner critic attempts to hold you back by instilling self doubt, your inner mentor is stronger, and works to help you move forward. Empower your inner mentor and let her guide you towards peace and light.

Please share with me ways that you have discovered your own inner mentor, or let me know if you have tried a few of the ways mentioned above, and how it’s going for you. I appreciate your comments and am always happy to connect with you.

You can email me at denise@everythingemile.com.

Choosing Your Winners Circle Can be the Key to Your Success

You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

-Jim Rohn

 

Knowing how to deliberately surround yourself with great people can help catapult you to creating the life you want. Developing rewarding relationships that go beyond social media or random networking and mutually enrich lives, is a key to living the life you choose and accomplishing what you want. I’m talking about the kinds of personal connections that draw two or more people to each other and form great partnerships and relationships that can last a lifetime. A winners circle links friends, mentors, coaches, trusted advisors and anyone who genuinely cares about you, and wants to see you accomplish great things.

You May Already Have an Existing Winners Circle.

A winners circle is identified as a group of people who you click with, and who are your “go-to’s” for sound advice, inspiration, ideas, creative stimulation and truth. This is your cabinet, advisory board and source of energy. Developing a powerful winners circle can introduce you to new ideas, resources, skill sets and experiences. Take a look at the people who you spend the most time with. It shouldn’t matter whether these are people who you live with, work with or go to the gym with. Just know that you are influenced by these people, just as much as they may be influenced by you. Think about the important people who are in your life, and the relationship you share with each one. Think about how you feel when you are with them. Are you inspired by the conversations you have with each other? Do you encourage each other? Do you trust each other? Are you growing together?

Building Your Winners Circle

Powerful winners circles can help to introduce you to “how”, when you know your “why”.

Building a winners circle isn’t about pulling together a group of smart people to help you get what you want. Instead, it’s about being intentional with the people whom you surround yourself. Connect with people through sharing common ground, values and goals. Focus on matters of the heart and what has meaning for both of you. The relationship that you cultivate should be win-win, where both people bring something to help each other. Associate with people who you can get to know over time, and who you enjoy being around. Focus on what you can learn from each other, and build on what you have in common. All important relationships in your life require commitment and are worth investing the time in cultivating happiness and trust.

“When you stop worrying so much about yourself and start looking at others and what they desire, you build a bridge to other people, and you become the kind of person, others want to be around. These are the keys to connecting”. – John Maxwell, author of Connecting with People.

Connections with people undoubtedly affect the quality of our lives. As you pursue your passions, stay open and let your positive energy attract good people into your life.

The 10 Commandments of a Professional Woman

1.    Thou shall embrace perfectionism, for without it, you are a failure.

2.    Thou shall not make any mistakes, lest you will be banned from all board room meetings.

3.    Always remember, there are no dress rehearsals, only the main performance.

4.    Thou shall never be out sick, otherwise, others will rush to judgment and think you are enjoying a stroll in the park, or watching day-time TV.

5.    You must exceed all metrics, even the ones that are deemed unobtainable but good for business.

6.    Thou shall love the workplace, more than you love yourself and your family.

7.    Sacrifice, sacrifice and then sacrifice more. It is the only way you will make it close to the C-Suite.

8.    Thou shall only be permitted to wear navy, black or brown suits and stilettos in the same variety of color.

9.    Thou shall not look for or expect any praise or recognition for a job well done. In other words, no news is good news.

10.Thou shall always play big enough to remain in the game, but small enough to never win.

While the 10 Commandments of a Professional Woman is satirical in nature, there may be a nugget or two that strikes reality for you. The question is “How much of myself do I have to give up to be successful?”  and “What do I need or want right now, in this moment, that I don’t have?”

Being your true self is the most effective formula for success, and while that sounds simple, many of us struggle with understanding who we really are, and what makes us happy.

As we age, and become more centered, we find that happiness and joy come from intrinsic goals, such as spending more time with family and friends, becoming active in causes that we believe in and practicing gratitude.

When you focus on your values rather than chasing achievement, you will ultimately discover personal fulfillment.