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Who Will I be if I Stay?

Who will I be if I stay? This was the heart wrenching question Diana (Wonder Woman) had to ask herself before going off to war. That moment, when she knew in her insides, that she was much stronger than she ever thought. The moment she knew there was so much more for her to do, than just staying where it was safe and comfortable. (Sound familiar?) Diana was torn (like many of us have been) by the pleas of her family and inner circle to stay where it’s protected and predictable. However, she knew she was destined to do more.

This was the most pivotal moment of the movie for me. It was at that moment, that I remembered I felt the exact same way while I worked in corporate America. I knew that I could be doing something that brought me more satisfaction, and allowed me to offer my superpowers to a target audience, and have a greater impact on others. That gravitational pull between leaving what I knew for sure, and doing what I was passionate about.

Have you ever stayed in a job, a relationship or career knowing that you should have left long ago?

According to a new study at Gallup, 51% of Americans aren’t engaged at work, meaning they feel no real connection to their jobs and thus they tend to do the bare minimum. Similar stats are accurate for the number of marriages that end in divorce. Why do we stay, when we know it’s time to go?

FEAR. Most people would rather stay in their situation because while they might not like it, there’s a sense of security and familiarity that trumps doing anything differently.

Jim Rohn once said “Don’t be afraid to CHANGE, you may lose something good, but you may gain something better”

Back in February, Tamron Hall a broadcast journalist, made a tough decision to follow her heart, and walk away from the Today show unexpectedly. Five months later, she is working with Weinstein Television to develop her own daytime talk show.  Her IBS (inner belief system) was strong enough to guide her to do what was right for her.

JK Rowling who invented Harry Potter was once a secretary, until she lost her job for writing fiction on company time. Who would she have been if she stayed?

The sweetest victory is the one that’s most difficult. The one that requires you to reach down deep inside, to fight with everything you’ve got – to be willing to leave everything you’ve got out there on the battlefield- without knowing, until that do-or-die moment, if your heroic effort will be enough.

“To achieve any worthy goal, you must take risks.” says writer and speaker John C. Maxwell

So, if the answer to the question “Who will I be if stay” is, a happy and fulfilled human being, then you’re in the right place. If the answer to that question is something different, then check in with your IBS (inner belief system) and don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.

There’s Power in Getting Fired or Laid Off

Being fired or laid off never feels like a good thing for anyone yet, the day you get fired is the day you get your power back.

Before you read any further, know that this post is not about how to find you next job, there’s a ton of information out there if you’re looking for that. This is about shifting your mindset, and getting your head and heart aligned so you’re ready to embrace whatever possibility awaits you.

Firing isn’t about getting fired, it’s about transition, and the new opportunity ahead of you. It’s sort of like the dating game, in the end, it doesn’t matter who broke up with whom, what matters is your next move. Getting fired can be the kick in the pants you needed to get out and find a better career, job, company or opportunity. So, when you get released from the golden handcuffs, know that a breakthrough is just around the corner.

I get that it’s unrealistic for anyone to tell you to cheer up immediately after being fired, it can be a piercing experience.  Feelings of rejection, confusion and disappointment are normal, and allowing yourself time to feel those emotions is an important part of the healing process. Once you’ve given yourself time to get past that feeling of having the rug pulled from underneath you, it’s time to move forward.

There’s something compelling about embracing adversity, accepting that stuff happens to everyone, and moving on. It’s part of life, and when we choose to sit around and dwell on the bad things, change can be slow and difficult. When we recognize that storms don’t last, hurricanes end and eventually the sun does shine again, motivation and the readiness to move forward moves closer. We begin to realize we are resilient and much stronger than we think we are.

 

Here’s My Four Point Plan for Bouncing Forward and Taking Your Power Back Quickly:

1. Optimism is Golden

Readjust priorities, begin finding your purpose and find the joy in positive action. Optimism is critical to good health. Keep an open mind, and become intentional about learning who you are through inquiry, yoga, meditation and exercise. Look at your strengths and take time to find out what you are passionate about. There’s nothing to stop you from beginning today, and no reason to wait any longer to pursue your goals.

 

Our job in this lifetime is not to shape ourselves into some ideal we ought to be, but to find out who we already are and become it. -Steven Pressfield

2. Determine What Value You Bring to the Table

Start by knowing your own worth. Now is a good time, to take inventory on your talents and skills. Surround yourself with positive people who share ideas, and are making things happen. Make a conscious decision to keep negative people at bay. It matters whom you spend time with. When you’re moving through challenges, feed your soul, with people who you care about, and who care about you.

Look for opportunities to get engaged in activities that bring you joy and satisfaction. Now is a great time to get active in your community, join an organization, volunteer or learn something new. Get to know who you are and what you want in your next job vs what you don’t want. Use this opportunity to recharge and reset.

 

Oprah once said “Often we don’t even realize who we are meant to be because we’re so busy trying to live out, someone else’s ideas”

3. Be Determined to Emerge Through Adversity as the Best and Highest Version of Yourself. 

Every successful person you know has found a way to embrace possibility and they come to understand there is no substitute for hard work. There’s no formula for success other than staying the course, and realizing that obstacles are inevitable. Bravery and courage are emotional partners for us. You’ll need both as you move through your transition.

 

4. Invite Positivity Into Your Life.

Love, joy, hope, gratitude and inspiration are just a few positive emotions that will help you bounce forward. Invite positivity into your life in whatever form it takes for you. Spend time with friends, take up running, grab your cell phone (or your camera) and start taking pictures of anything that makes you feel good. Get clear on how you want to feel, and then do the stuff that makes you feel that way.  I have a friend that learned deep-sea diving, something she always wanted to do, but never had the time, when she got laid off from her job, she seized the moment and now credits it with helping her to land on her feet.

 

Ships don’t sink because of the water around them; ships sink because of the water that gets into them. Don’t let what’s happening around you get inside you, and weigh you down.  – Unknown

Denise Harris is a certified Executive & Leadership Coach who specializes in helping her clients navigate the cross-roads of a personal or professional crisis. Denise’s strategic knowledge, professional insight, approachability and refreshing candor allow her to equip + empower her clients with the tools to not only “successfully walk through the fire,” but to emerge on the other side as the best and highest version of themselves.

Denise can be reached at Denise@deniseharrisonline.com