“The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same.”- Carlos Castaneda
The demands are growing, responsibilities deepening within the organization or your business and every day you still feel a sense of not knowing if you’re doing enough and trying vigilantly to stay ahead in multiple domains of your personal and professional life.
I work with women business leaders and I often see them struggle with distressful thoughts, feelings and behaviors – thinking they’re not good enough or that they should be doing more. A lot of women who come to me, know that on paper, they are not a failure, in fact, many of these women are highly accomplished and have worked their way up the corporate ladder and are running businesses and leading organizations. And yet, there’s an insidious sense of unfulfillment, self-doubt and disbelief that they are making the right decisions and moving in the right direction.
For women who are over-achievers and have accomplished quite a bit professionally, there seems to be a gap existing between the intersection of confidence, well-being and authenticity. This gap shows up when you feel stuck, dispassionate or begin doubting every move you make. It shows up when you find yourself struggling to make even the simplest decisions and when you find yourself procrastinating with every project because focusing on one thing is hard to do.
These feelings of inadequacy are strong and left unchecked, can derail your goals, your aspirations and the life you want to create for yourself. Here are a few steps I often share with my own clients to help bridge the gap:
Work towards something that is meaningful for you.
When you feel purposeful, momentum can move you through those moments of angst and doubt and help you to take the steps needed to accomplish your goal.
Invest in your future self.
Don’t be constrained by what’s possible in the moment. Think bigger. Recognize that everything is not in your control. Focus on the 50% that you can control and do your best there. Don’t waste cognitive energy trying to change something that you cannot.
Take time to reflect.
Sounds simple but it’s not easy. Build small moments into your day – 5 or 10 minutes max and ground yourself in the present moment. Remind yourself of who you want to be and what is important for you. Approach that part of yourself that thinks “I am not enough” with curiosity and compassion, and without judgment.
Sometimes you can make the shift on your own and if you can, go for it. But, if you feel that you are stuck with your current reality and the journey is too daunting, reach out and ask for support.