Whenever I would make big decisions in my life whether it was about a career transition, buying a new car, or moving from one place to another, I would find myself talking to several of my closest friends or family members to “validate” my thoughts and get buy-in on my big decision. I often felt as if I subconsciously needed permission to do the big hairy audacious things, that in the moment would seem scary or drum up feelings of uncertainty. Of course, fear would creep in, and my ego would insist that I play small, and stay safe. I would always ask the proverbial question “What do you think? or “Does that make sense to you?” which now, I realize for me was code for “Would YOU do that?” , or “Do YOU think it’s a good idea?”. You see, my ego would push me to find those voices that would essentially agree that I should just keep the boat steady at all times.
I’ve come to realize that possibility and magic, live outside of the comfort zone. So, I have to expect that making bold decisions is naturally going to cause some discomfort, and that’s okay.
Here’s what I learned.
· Trust yourself – if there’s something that you want to do, and you’ve given it thought and it feels good to you, then do it.
· Don’t be afraid to fail – It’s okay to make a mistake. In fact, making mistakes is one of the ways that we learn.
· Slow Yourself Down- Sometimes stepping away and finding a quiet space to sit and think can be helpful when you’re making a decision. Allow yourself to get quiet enough to hear your own voice.
· It doesn’t have to be the greatest idea to move forward – We’re always in learning mode, so give yourself permission to explore an idea and develop it along the way. Sometimes the best idea starts out as a seed and grows with time and effort.
· In the book, Big Magic, author, Elizabeth Gilbert says about fear “You’re allowed to have a seat, and you’re allowed to have a voice, but you’re not allowed to have a vote”